Biblical Boots

 

Photo Credits to JW.org

We were discussing and sharing ideas with a close friend of mine. And she came up with the idea of writing stories from the bible but with satire, humor, and in relation to the current times. If you think about it, unlike ordinary books, the bible talks of actual people like you and I, just a different time.

Don't sweat it. As you read this article you'll get where we are coming from. So this segment we decided to call it "Biblical Boots" since we are walking in the boots of these individuals. Hope you like it. Shout out to you Sally.

Let's dive in.

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To start off this segment, we are going to start from Genesis.

In the boots Abraham. The Father of Faith.

Just like any couple, Abe and Sarah were happily married, rather we assume they were. But they had one critical issue between them. We all know they couldn't sire a child. For the longest time in their marriage they did not have a child of their own. To a point his wife gave up trying and allowed him to get a child with the maid, just to keep a happy husband maybe.

I can imagine Sarah, felt lesser of a woman. A lot of women dream to bare a child of their own breast feed a product of their own making. Sarah didn't have that luxury.

God had promised old Abe that He was going to make him the father of nations. (Gen 15:5 Then He brought him outside and said, “Look now toward heaven, and count the stars if you are able to number them.” And He said to him, “So shall your descendants be.” -NKJV)

This guy has no child of his own and yet God is talking to him about countless offspring's!? Imagine what was going through Abraham's mind. What weed is this guy smoking? Unlike us today we have reference to the bible, during these times the bible wasn't written and so they didn't have the luxury we have.

Imagine, Abe walking back to his tent to share the news with his wife and how excited he was. Sarah was sited by the fire place preparing dinner trying to keep the fire on by blowing into the smoke and coughing her lungs out.

"Sarah! Sarah!"

"I was talking to this guy outside he tells me his name is God and he told me, we are going to have offspring's as many as there are the stars!"

Take a second and assume you are Sarah. First of, this guy her husband is hearing voices, talking to some imaginary guy and he's also taking his word for it. Is it old age that is getting to this guy? He's being senile.

As if that is not enough, Sarah was past menopause. Telling her she is going to have a child is insulting her intellect. She busted out in uncontrollable laughter.

Finally, God's promise to Abraham came to pass. Sarah got pregnant in her old age. I can imagine her excitement. By now Ishmael, the son Abe had with the servant was grown but still a young lad, maybe in his 10-13 years by then.

Abe must have been thinking to himself..

"Maybe this guy that talks from the clouds is actually real. He promised me a son and now my wife has just given me a son. We shall call him Isaac as He instructed."

Isaac means Laughter. The reaction of Sarah when Abraham told him they were going to have a son.

Sarah and Abe are now a 'complete' couple. I imagine Sarah must have loved her miracle baby. Abe now had a lad from the love of his life. He must have taken him to the wilderness where they used to graze the herds. He taught him how to hunt wild animals and how to roast them for lunch. A typical dad-son relationship.

Many years later without a word from the man in the clouds, when Isaac was now a teenager after Abe had started seeing some light at the end of the tunnel.

(Gen 22: 1-2) -NKJV

God spoke: "Abraham"

Abe: "Here I am"

God: "Take now your son, your only son Isaac, whom you love, and go to the land of Moriah, and offer him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains of which I shall tell you."

Does it make sense to you? I mean come on man. This is our only child with the wife. And even so by now, they were even older, in their 100's years. How does he start explaining this to the wife, that the voice from the clouds now wants their son for sacrifice!? I can guess that night he didn't utter a word to her. He did even have the appetite for dinner.

How do you even go to bed!?

Let that sink in for a minute and feel free to put on Abe’s boots like, ‘Carol! Carol! “Take now your son, your only son Liam, whom you call kababa, and go to the land of Kirinyaga, and offer him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains of which I shall tell you.”

That must have been one of the longest nights for Abraham! Imagine his thoughts! Yet He didn’t say a thing…nothing! He didn’t even try to bargain, plead, beg, bribe…nothing! Imagine that, ‘ God you know Liam has his exams around the corner and frankly I don’t think he would make that good a sacrifice!’ ‘please God not my kababa, what did he ever do to you! sob sob’   Abraham ..nothing!

This man knew he had to obey this word, yet he had a wife; the mother of Isaac. What would the people think of him? Could his marriage survive that kind of thing? Could he survive that loss? What about his boy, poor Isaac just going about his business one day and the next his father offs him just like that. What will CNN (Canaan news network) report about it? What would the Canaan business hub think of him, after all, he was their chairman! Who would understand that he had to do it? How would he live without his boy Isaac? Would the police ram into his house in the dead of the night and whisk him out of bed in his PJs? What statement does he even give at the DCI offices after much interrogations after Sarah had reported the missing of her son who left home with his dad?

What about this boy Isaac, he was at the prime of his youth, yet he just followed his father willingly all the way to the altar. He could obviously have outran or overpowered his 100+ years old dad.

Let me tell you this, my son is simply disagreeable, to obey this word I would have had to visit the local arms dealer for a good sniper rifle, night-vision goggles, and a grenade just for good measure...it would have to be more of a black ops mission in the night as the young man comes home from herding the camels...it would not have been pretty at all.